Update the name of the religious fanatic to the latest prominent person.

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Scene:  Jesus and Osama bin Laden are each standing at a podium on the same stage addressing the crowd, and occasionally each other.  Rather in the style of a US presidential debate.

 

Osama  I have come to do God’s will.

Jesus      I have come to do God’s will.

Osama  Don’t cling to what this world holds dear.

Jesus      Don’t cling to what this world holds dear.

Osama  If you want to serve God, you must be prepared to sacrifice everything.

Jesus      If you want to serve God, you must be prepared to sacrifice everything.

Osama  Follow me, and you will receive your reward in heaven.

Jesus      Follow me, and you will receive your reward in heaven.

Osama  (turns to Jesus)  Hey!  Stop copying me.

Jesus      I’m not.  You’re copying me.

Osama  But you’re repeating everything I say.

Jesus      I said it all two thousand years ago.  Look in my book if you don’t believe me.

Osama  (back to crowd) My task is to destroy the works of Satan and to bring in the kingdom of God.

Jesus      My task is to destroy the works of Satan and to bring in the kingdom of God.

Osama  I have come to bring death and destruction to God’s enemies.

Jesus      I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Osama  Hate your enemies, and kill those who persecute you.

Jesus      Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.

Osama  (to Jesus) Why?  Who would want to do that?  (to crowd)  God’s strength is demonstrated through acts of power.

Jesus      God’s strength is demonstrated through those who are weak.

Osama  I have triumphed through causing death – the names of the dead prove it.

Jesus      I have triumphed through suffering death – I rose from the dead to prove it.

Osama  My life is filled with hatred and darkness.

Jesus      My life is filled with love and light.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it. (Osama,                   realising that he can’t win the argument, presses the button on his suicide belt.  Osama, Jesus and the crowd disappear             in a huge explosion.  Two days later, Jesus reappears)  Peace be with you!  Do not be afraid.