The first verse of this comes from my grandmother’s scrapbook and dates from the 1930s – she knew it continued, but had lost what it was.  The rest was written by Christine Canti in memory of my grandmother.

 

The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh.

According to the contract, it should have been the eleventh;

But the workmen all got drunk just when they didn’t oughter,

So to finish off the job, they filled it up with water.

First they made the sea, and then they made the sky,

And then they made the little clouds and hung them up to dry.

 

So when they’d sobered up a bit, God raised his mighty hand

And told the foreman, “No more booze; get started on the land.

I’d like some mountains and some hills, and lots of little valleys

Where woods will grow – all kinds of trees – oaks, hazels, ash and hollies.”

So while they built the continents, God made an angel host

To give him living things, and see which made him laugh the most.

He looked them over as they came – all creatures great and small;

The wart-hog and the duck, he said, were funniest of all.

 

But God could see creation still lacked something to improve.

“There’s no-one I can talk to yet, there’s no-one I can love.”

He gazed upon his image in a blue and cloudless lake.

Then all at once he shouted out, “It’s people I must make!”

It took a deal of thought to do, and quite a cunning plan,

Devising all the structures of the woman and the man.

They walked about the garden in the altogether nude,

Without a thought between them that it might be rather rude.

The man God nicknamed Adam, and the woman he called Eve,

And when he’d made them, they were glad his blessing to receive.

And God came to the garden when the day was getting cool.

He showed them the forbidden tree; there was no other rule.

 

But then a wily serpent came, a proper trouble-maker.

He thought he’d have some fun with Eve, and see if he could wake her.

“Forbidden fruit? That isn’t true! Now come on, have a taste.

I don’t believe he said you can’t – it would be such a waste!”

So Eve bit off some apple; then she gave a bit to Adam,

And suddenly they saw that they were naked – Sir and Madam.

God finds them wearing fig-leaves for to hide their private parts;

When he asks them why they’ve got them – that’s when the trouble starts.

“Eve made me try the apple,” Adam says, “so she’s to blame.”

“That slimy serpent tricked me,” answers Eve, her face aflame.

So God sent them from the garden.  He made them clothes to wear,

Then slammed the gates behind them – a very downcast pair.

 

But now I’ve got some questions that I’d like the answers to,

Such as where that serpent came from? And who told him what to do?

Because if God saw it was good, each thing he chose to make,

Then why on earth did he include that dreadful wicked snake?

Perhaps it simply was to prove he’d given man the choice –

To choose twixt good and evil, so was this temptation’s voice?

And did the snake first have some legs?  It seems a trifle rum

If God for punishment decrees he must go on his tum.

And if he was God’s enemy, who made him?  Where, and why?

If anyone can answer, they’re far cleverer than I.