The meek shall inherit the earth by James Archer
Printable and editable Word version
A notice on the theme of meekness from the beatitude in Matthew 5:5. To be announced totally deadpan.
Earth inherited by Meek
In a surprise announcement this morning, it was revealed that the Meek have inherited the Earth. The actual change of ownership happened three weeks ago, but the Meek did not want to appear proud, so did not contact the press. “It’s nothing to boast about,” a spokesman said; “just the generosity and faithfulness of God, who promised it to us two thousand years ago. We’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”
The news provoked a furious reaction from an unholy alliance of property interests. The Country Landowners Association accused God of “acting like Robert Mugabe with other people’s property”, and demanded full compensation for hard-pressed farmers. The Council of Mortgage Lenders warned of “imminent financial meltdown”, and urged all homeowners to write to the Archbishop of Canterbury to protest. The Council for the Protection of Rural England questioned whether the Meek would be prepared to stand up to property developers, who would try to take advantage of their meekness.
News of the inheritance is reported to have raised slightly the spirits of the Poor in Spirit. However, they are trying to remain poor in spirit, otherwise theirs will not be the kingdom of heaven.