Scene: a geography field trip to the Sinai desert. 

 

Cast: Moses, a teacher; Reuben, Esther, Zillah, all schoolchildren.

 

Moses         …………  and now we find ourselves in the Sinai desert.  Zillah, what can you remember about deserts?

Zillah          Well, Mr Moses sir ….. um ….. they’re hot, and they’re dry.

Moses         As you say, Zillah: hot and dry.  Not a drop of water for miles around.  No chance of any plants or animals.  And look at                       that wonderful rock formation; a clear case of ………

Reuben       Please sir, I’m hungry.

Esther         And I’m tired, sir.

Zillah         Do we have to go much further, sir?  My feet are killing me!

Reuben      Three days without a bite to eat.  I’m starving!

Esther        It’s all sir’s fault.  He should have known better.

Reuben      I’d rather be back at school any day.

Zillah         What?  Pretending to eat Miss Pike’s grotty gristle?

Esther        And the lumps in her custard?

Reuben      Well, at least we didn’t starve.

Esther        No, we didn’t.  I think we should go back home.

Moses        Hang on a minute!  We’ve got roast for supper tonight.

Reuben, Esther and Zillah     (together)  Roast?

Reuben      Oh yeah – that’s a likely story!

Esther        I suppose he’s going to get his God to do another of his miracles.

Reuben      Well, he’d better get on and do it quick.  I’m hungry!  (Quail falls like a thunderbolt and hits him)  Ouch!!

Zillah        Good God!  What is it?

Moses       Roast quail.  It tastes rather like chicken.

Esther       But sir, I don’t like chicken!

Moses       Oh, for heaven’s sake, stop moaning and be thankful for what you’ve got.

Zillah        Sir, what’s for breakfast?

Moses       The Lord has promised me there will be bread for breakfast. (Passage of time overnight)

Zillah        Uggh!  What is it?

Esther       It looks like cornflakes all over the ground.

Moses       That’s the bread God has given you.  Gather as much as you can eat, but don’t keep any for later.

Esther       But sir, we can’t eat that!  You never know where it might have been.

Zillah        Mmmh ….. it tastes like honey waffles!

Reuben     Yes, it is good.  Hey, Esther, let’s put some in our pockets to nibble on the way.  We don’t know where our next meal’s                         coming from. (Passage of time – wandering)

Moses       Stop!  What’s that horrible smell?

Zillah        It’s maggots!  Look at them crawling out of Esther’s pockets!

Moses       Can’t you do anything you’re told?  Reuben, what are you doing?

Reuben     Looking for food, sir.

Moses       What day of the week is it today, Reuben?

Reuben     Sunday, sir.

Moses       And what did I say about Sunday, Reuben?

Reuben     You said there wouldn’t be any, sir, because it’s a day of rest.

Zillah        Please, sir, I want something more interesting to eat.  I’m bored of honey waffles.

Esther       I need a drink, sir.  I’m thirsty.

Reuben     So am I.  It’s all sir’s fault that we’re dying of thirst.  I want to go home.

Moses      Ahhh!  Lord, what can I do with these grumblers?  Listen:  how many days has the Lord fed you in the desert?

Zillah       Nine, sir.

Moses      And do you think He’s going to abandon you now?  Can’t you trust Him?

Reuben     I want some water!

Moses       (resigned) The Lord will provide. (Exeunt.)